An Absolute Moron

The following is what is commonly know as a polemic; an opportunity for my spleen to be vented, and a small portion of academic bile directed towards one Nicholas J. Cull, who has written perhaps one of the most small-minded, arrogant, and misguided piece's I have ever had the (mis)pleasure of reading. His central argument is that the whole evolution of Who is, in fact, due to the influence of American cultural (and other) pressures. This, I feel, is the most short-sighted piece of crap I have ever read, from a man who, I doubt, has seen any of the series, let alone actually studied any of the criticism or history of the programme. I would like to tear apart a few of the points he makes here. However, what follows is just a short attack on what is, in whole, a terrible argument.

1. He basically argues that the Doctor, is an embodiment of British values, and that this has to be seen in light of the increasing dominance of America as a superpower, and the decline of Britain on the global stage. Thus, the only way that Britian could come to terms with this is by having someone who tried to assert their brains over using braun.

Reply 1: OH MY GOD! Does this guy not understand that the whole point of the Doctor is that he's a character of superior interlect who comes from another planet? That he is supposed to embody the liberal position of tolerance and pacifism, and that his whole role is about assisting people and deciding what is for the greater good? This could be written as a school boy error, but the fact that he a) goes on to assert what a great character James T. Kirk is in comparison, by appealing to literary predecessors, and b) this is written by a yank, just going to show that that nation has little understanding of 'tolerance' contemporarily, is unforgivable.

2. "The second Doctor (Patrick Troughton) was not as popular as the first. Audiences detected 'stale and predictable plots'."

Reply 2: Just completely flabbergasted by this one. Firstly if Troughton was so unpopular, why does he always usually come out near the top of 'Favourite Doctor' poles? Why is he so fondly remembered as the 'Cosmic Hobo', who had a childlike innocence? As for the plots issue, this guy has obviously never heard of The Evil of the Daleks, The Enemy of the World, The Web of Fear, The Macra Terror, or Fury from the Deep. A diverse range of plots there, some developing the now classic 'base under siege' thread, some just being different completely.

3. (And this is the best one. About Star Trek: TNG): "The show had all Doctor Who's eclecticism and humour and effects were light years away from anything the BBC could produce alone".

Reply 3: Honestly, and I can feel the rage growing in me now, has this guy even seen any TNG? It's the most po-faced, boring, stuffy load of crap ever made! Humour? There's more sodding humour in a funeral, and I've just been to one. Eclecticism? What that'll be the return of the bleeding Klingons will it? Or would that be the fact that they had to nick the Cybermen to create the Borg? The only thing eclectic about it was that it had Whoopi sodding Goldberg as the barman!

I could go on, but there are some things in there that are just laughable. Congratulations, Nicholas J. Cull. You are an ABSOLUTE MORON.

Feeling Strangely Fine

I feel rather strange writing to you from where I am now for a number of reasons. Firstly, I should be at the pub quiz, but due to circumstances outside of my control that's been cancelled. The more frustrating thing is I spent a good hour yesterday afternoon compiling a list of witty team names. Yes, I was that bored but there's always problems deciding on what to call ourselves and so I thought I'd make a pre-emptive strike. My personal favourite was 'Handbags for House Plants' but there were a few other gems as well.

Secondly, I feel strange writing here at the minute as (gasp) I've done all of my work for the weekend! I've finished an essay, done a pointless PowerPoint presentation and done my seminar preperation, all with Sunday afternoon to spare. Thirdly, I went to a very strange place last night for a few drinks. It went by the name of 'Tiger Tiger', but I can think of a better word to replace the aforementioned animal with (Crap? Or maybe something a little stronger?). The place was a hodge-potch of various styles inported from Ikea, stretched across three floors, with the kind of service you'd expect in a KFC but not in some 'classy' bar. I was stood at the bar once for about ten minutes whilst some chap tried to remember how to make a cocktail, whilst at another it took about the same amount of time to get one bottle of Bud. Bejesus! It still doesn't beat Sugar as the worst place in Cardiff, nor does it beat Enigma in Newton Abbot as the definition of Hell, but it's pretty crap and over-priced. Well, at least they played a little bit of Lionel at one point. I say a little as it was one of those annoying places that only ever plays half a song.

Alright moan over, so what else we got? Not a lot really! Life seems to be moving at a pace quicker than I care to realise, and I'm not sure whether that's because I've become lost in what I'm studying, whether I'm just blissfully unaware of anything that's happening, or maybe just somewhere between the two. It's something that I've gotten used to though, a general feeling of being a little lost. It's kind of though you're stood completely still on a street whilst everyone and everything rushes past you and you try to calm them down. Much like the experience of being in Bristol Temple Meads at 8:15 in the morning.

To the Faithful Departed

From the silence comes noise.

Yes, Dear Reader, normal service has been resumed here. I apologise for the slight delay in proceedings but there's been a death in the family and I was needed elsewhere. The only thing that the last few days has served to tell me is things I already knew: that I hate funerals, that the worst thing about death is the people who get left behind, and that I don't deal particularly well with the news of Death's presence. Instead, I just seem to blank it out as much as possible until I'm faced with the actuality of the situation, and then it all comes out. All of which seems quite strange for me, since throughout my teenage years and beyond I've prided myself in writing songs that often mentioned the subejct in some form of back-handed metaphor. Perhaps the concept I think of is different from the reality of the situation? That's quite a good way to sum up my whole outlook on reality really; why bother dealing with the harshness of the real world when there are worlds of imagination that are far more interesting?

Anyways, I've been told by my folks to stop worrying, as it does no good for anyone, but I just can't escape this horrible, knawing feeling in my stomach when I think about my Gran's situation. No-one should have to be left on their own, especially during the twilight of their life. It just makes you fear the worst, that's all. What's that statement RTD once quoted with regards to narrative? "The Queen dies, then the King dies of a broken heart"? Perhaps I just need to keep repeating "Life isn't Who" in my head many times.

Talking of 'life', it was to my utmost horror that a member of one of the worst bands around (The Ordinary Boys) has turned up in the loser-hell of Celebrity Big Brother. To all those who think he's ultra-smart and all, he wrote and released an oh-so witty track last year called 'Life Will Be the Death of Me'. Ten out of ten for passing your Year 12 English exam with that one...

The Top 5 Most Played Songs on my iPod:

1. Foreigner - I Want to Know What Love Is
2. The Killers - Mr. Brightside
3. Maximo Park - Going Missing
4. Disarm - Smashing Pumpkins
5. Que Onda Guero -Beck

TV Times Circa 1970-Something

So then, after all that Lost petered out with more of a whimper than a bang if you ask me. I mean, how obvious was it that they'd open the hatch and then it'd end? Add in some over-sentimental recap footage over who was on the plane and it was all just a little disappointing. It was, to me, as though it had been written as two catch-up episodes for anyone who'd missed most of the series and wanted to know what was going on. I suppose that's the problems of commercial television: having to make sure that your series is always open to new viewers.

It seems to be a time for new tv at the moment. However, I'm not sure if I'm following it all correctly; I completely missed the point of Life on Mars by the sounds of things, and have also lost my excuse for watching The O.C. by not being able to shout 'Jim' at the guy who played Jim Robinson from Neighbours for an hour. It seems I'm gonna either a) have to stop watching it, or b) admit that my only reason for watching it really was the rather lovely Rachel Bilson. Then again, is there anything wrong with that? I mean the show is crap. I used to like Dawson's Creek, and I genuinely admit to that. There was something cool about all that angst and cod-philosophising. Then again, I could watch DC again now and think it's crap. Yet, in all honesty, The O.C. has neither angst nor philosophy. It just has a very hot girl and a guy who talks in an ironic manner about Star Wars.

Why has telly become so full of reality tv and rubbish so nearly in the New Year? I mean, MTV2 has even shifted Gonzo so I can't keep up with what's new. How am I supposed to keep up with all that's new and indie if there's no show on? Having said that, if the only 'decent' stuff around at the minute is that god-awful Arctic Monkey's track, then I don't really wanna know. I'll go back to something else I think... Right then, Pyramids of Mars and some old Toto CDs it is. Unless anyone else can think of something else?

"Friday Nights have been lonely. Change your plans and then phone me"

So... That'll be Christmas Eve, then!

Just a short note to say this is the antics of what happens on a Christmas Eve in Newton Abbot. It perhaps doesn't capture the true spirit of the events but it'll hopefully serve as a good reminder of the times we had. It's just a shame they only seem to occur once a year. Nevermind, better once than never I suppose...

Brand New Start

It's such a tired old cliche isn't it, that old "New Year, new start" nonsense? In this case however, I'm glad to see the back of 2005 what with the sorry state that my family managed to get itself into over the past twelve months. As a result, I've decided to draw a line underneath all that's gone before and try and start over this year. Already I've managed to bump into someone who I haven't seen for about a year and am gonna try my hardest not to get depressed over the sense of failure that hung over my thoughts towards my Masters that developed over the last few weeks.

Unfortunately, the lists that I promised on the last post never appeared due to the fact that I got sidelined in Devon for longer than expected. In short, the bolier breaking down (again) at home, combined with the thought of a couple of friends spending New Year alone, and a rather nasty head cold all combined to mean I took an extended leave of absense. However, a big thanks has to go out to everyone I saw whilst back, as it was an unexpected laugh. Just one note to casual readers: don't go anywhere near the Ten Tors in Kingsteignton expecting any New Year hospitality, since the greeting you'll recieve will be less than pleasent. Alright, it was about four in the morning but if lights are on and the doors are open, you have to assume they're still open! Even more so if there are still people in there drinking. Anyways, the promised lists are provided at the bottom just minus all of the explanations why.

So, we have the second series in the pipeline and what with the brilliant TCI under our belts, as well as the series garnering the 2005 TV Moment of the Year, that's something to look forward to. Oh, and of course we have the return of my good friends from Mondas. Or will that be Telos? I suppose it all depends what angle, and how much continuity, they're gonna get bogged down with. For those not in the know they originally came from Earth's twin planet, Mondas. Oh, and the wierd Elizabethan looking episode looked cool, just unsure if that was Tooth and Claw or Girl in the Fireplace. The only disappointing thing is the lack of new indie acts that seem to be tipped for the year; aside from Editors re-releasing 'Munich' there really isn't that much about. Ah well, just have to wait then!

The Bronze Medal's Films of the Year:

5. Serenity
4. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
3. 5 x 2
2. King Kong
1. The Descent

The Bronze Medal's Albums of the Year:

5. Editors - The Back Room
4. Beck - Guero
3. Maximo Park - A Certain Trigger
2. Coldplay - X&Y
1. Idlewild - Warnings/Promises

I'm sorry George, I wanted to include you but it just wasn't good enough. I mean, come on! As if the first words uttered by the most evil man in the Universe were the equivalent of "Where is my wife" ?!?

Lists

Well, its that time of year again. When everybody feels the overwhelming desire to return to their place of origin because some kid was born in a barn about 2000 years ago, or so that particular story goes. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that as of tomorrow I return back to Hell/Rockville/Devon for the Festive period, and so won't be able to communicate with all you people for the next few days. So in a method of trying to console yourselves, I've decided to go with all the magazines and provide a list of The Bronze Medal's Top 5 Singles of the Year. The way this should work will be that you get these now, and then I'll have made up my mind about movies and albums by the time I return home.

Anyways, I'd just like to take this opportunity to thank all the readers for, err, reading, and I'd also like to take this opportunity to wish you all a very Happy Christmas. Alternately, if you belong to a different social group that isn't Christian, just enjoy the period. I myself, am looking forward to having some time with my folks, and getting good and drunk with my esteemed colleagues, Savage McCee and the Kingsteignton Three. Who knows, maybe we'll go one better than last year and actually get ourselves arrested!

Before we get started, tracks that narrowly missed out but deserve a mention include 'Blood' and 'Bullets' by Editors, 'So Here We Are' by Bloc Party and 'Oh My God' by Kaiser Chiefs. Oh, and yes, 'Somebody Told Me' came out this year, but it also did last year. So I'm treating it as a re-release and therefore inelidgable. Anyways, on with the list...

5. Amerie - One Thing

OK, bit of a contraversial start to things given the Indie-friendly nature of the musical opinion usually expressed here, but this was a damn fine pop song. Up there with something like Girls Aloud's 'Love Machine' in it's sheer 'wanting you to move your feet'-ness, its a well produced, catchy little number that lodged its place in your head and refused to let go. For once though, it was a track that you actually didn't mind being there.

4. Fix You - Coldplay

Sometimes songs are written and they accrue the status of classic straight away. This has to be one such example. Perhaps it pulls at the heartstrings in a rather cliched way, but it entered into my life at a time when I needed a track such as this. When that guitar part and the drums crash in, it turns up the euphoria levels far beyond anything they've ever done before, only to bring things down again for the intimate finish the song deserves. All that, and it's Coldplay. A band who, prior to this year, were synonomous with simplistic, unambitious boredom in my opinion. You see, things can change...

3. 22 Grand Job - The Rakes

A song, and a band, that seem to completely divide opinion amongst many of the people I know. It seems you either love or hate this lot. However, I don't think anyone has managed to capture the whiney, pathetic nature of status anxiety in such an exact way. Worried about the lighting in your office? Or the amount you earn in relation to your level of participation? Or the fact that your shift starts earlier than anyone else? If the answer to any of these is 'yes' then just have a listen, and within 90 seconds I hope you'll have learnt a few things about yourself. Top.

2. Wires - Athlete

It seems as though beautiful ballads seem to come along once a year. 2004 brought us the soaring beauty of Snow Patrol's 'Run', which was matched equally, and unexpectedly, by this offering from Athlete. Written about the premature birth of singer Conrad's daughter, it's the kind of song that anyone who's had the displeasure of frequenting themselves with hospitals can relate to. More than that though, it's a song of hope and optimism. In a time when these can be small, it subsequently deserves applause. All we need is the highlights of Season Two of Who put to this next year and its status shall be complete.

1. Apply Some Pressure - Maximo Park

In all honesty, it was hard not to put 'Going Missing' and 'Graffiti' in this list, but in limiting yourself to one track per artist some differentiation had to be made, and this absolute gem became the weapon of choice. Spiky, energetic, and containing the kind of spontaneous end to a song that makes you want to hit repeat on your CD player, it managed to combine a great guitar riff with some intriguing, carnival-esque keyboard. However, it was much more than that: starting by managing to map out the kind of random thoughts that run through my head twenty-four hours a day, it eventually built in to a chugging, harmonic exploration of loss and despair, before exploding in to that final, killer flurry. Triumphant without a doubt.

The Best

(Left to Right: Head of Wood, Cyber Control, Colonel K, Lady Elizabeth, "Hot" Rod Chrisway)

(Left to Right: Captain Yash, Major Tom)

(The D.A.Z. - Looking a little camp)

"Pussy Cat, Pussy Cat. Where have you been?"

Right, first of all, I'm not a cat, but in answer to your question I've been all over the shop. Both mentally and physically. First of all, there was a birthday for Yours Truly. Unfortunately it came just at one of those moments when your base falters a little and you have a shift in confidence. I'm still feeling bad about getting drunk and having a good old whinge about Life, the Universe and Everything. I don't like myself when I get like that, and I feel especially bad when it happens around the people that I value the most and yet haven't seen for bloody ages. Nonetheless, it was amazing to see everyone again, and I strongly hope we can all get together more often than we do. Just a shame that everyone ended up feeling lousy on the Sunday and the boiler broke down. Mental note to self though, after having fulfilled one of life's ambitions and slept in a bath, I wouldn't recommend it again. It's like sleeping in a slightly moist coffin.

Aside from that I've been to Londondinium to watch The Rakes, who were very good, and Editors, who were the most exciting live band I've seen in a long time. This all coincided with seeing Franz Ferdinand as well, who were pretty good if you like that sort of thing. Then I got fed up of living in a cold house, and so went back to see the Folks for a weekend, which was a nice way to let off a bit of steam and talk a few things over. Me, talking to my folks! I never thought that day would come. If you add in the numerous trips between here and Bristol I've been making, it could be said that I'm currently a well travelled man. All that and the great news that an old friend is moving back this way in the New Year! It must be the lure of seeing David Tennant in the flesh. Still, reasons to be cheerful!

Finally though, a big thanks to everyone that was present on the weekend of the 26/11. Without a doubt, those were the winning days....

On Having Nothing Much to Say

"People when they change their minds, it's a tell-tale sign
That they don't know what to talk about" (The Bluetones, 1996)

I'm writing this as I've been prompted by a fan (yes, we do have one) to write an update. However, the problem is I've really got very little to report about. You can interpret that in two ways: either I've got into tunnel vision in respect to writing about public service broadcasting and so can't think about anything, or, my life is that dull that the only thing I can think about is public service broadcasting. Focused or dull? The choice is yours, dear reader. Obviously I'd prefer if you sided with the former, as no-one likes having their worst fears confirmed.

I should, however, have lots to comment on. Firstly, there was the special Who for CiN, which was pretty good. Now some fans have reservations over extended TARDIS scenes - personally speaking I don't know why - but that's fandom for you. Anyways, despite being a bit underwhelmed after first viewing (there were a couple of really bad cuts within the editing), further viewings changed my opinion: I thought Billie was ace (as per usual) and Tennant was equally as good. It was good to see that he's still got the same intensity that Eccleston brought to the role (i.e. the scene when he was explaining to Rose about the first time they met) but I think he'll do the quirky humour a bit differently, perhaps more in the style of Tom. That, however, is in no way a slur against Chris though. I've been a fan ever since Shallow Grave of the man's talents and will miss him not occupying the role.

Secondly, I went to the switching on of the Christmas lights in Cardiff last week, with Tennant and Billie. It was a pretty good time really. Cold, and there were loads of screaming kids running around the place, but aside from that it was good. Learnt some interesting things about the forthcoming series (sinister Christmas Trees, werewolves) and the company was good, as were the fireworks actually.

Hmm, this seems wierd writing when there's nothing to write about. Instead it just turns into an extended version of those diaries you always had to write on a Monday morning at primary school. I've not even got anything profound to talk about, nor are there any tracks I feel the need to promote. I was in a shop the other day that was dreadful, but I stayed in there for a while as they were playing Maximo Park. Not really that exciting is it?

"Time moves on, but all along, we've always known
It's never going nowhere" (The Bluetones, 2003)

Square One

What a strange day. I awoke this morning feeling quite melancholic, and that feeling hung around for most of the morning and some of the afternoon. The afternoon was plagued with disappointment: my mission Dalek-hunting was pitiful, and I left the city centre with my reasons for not visiting the place on a Saturday reaffirmed. Why do people stand still in shops, blocking any public right-of-way, for the sake of a chat? That's the point of the phrase 'Do you want to go for a coffee'. Moreover, why can't people walk according to set co-ordinates? That is, why can't they walk in a straight line, or a line that takes in to account that there's someone either walking behind/in front of them? And then there's kids, who have the directional sense of Dizzy, Dizzy Dinosaur.

Sorry, dear reader, I'm having a moan. I just sometimes get a little fed-up with the way that humanity has little attention to the fact that there are more people on the planet than just themselves. It doesn't take much to consider the feelings of another person, and that just the odd choice of word here, or delivery of that word there, might change the whole course of the recipient's day for one reason or another. Having said that, and speaking subjectively, if you spend too much time thinking about the possible repercussion of your actions you often end up doing nothing, as you don't want to offend. That's what makes things even worse when you decide to act and get nothing in return: it reaffirms a belief that you should probably just keep such things to yourself because, in the grand scheme of things, you don't really matter that much.

Gah, self-pity! It's not the most attractive character traits. Perhaps I'll just take Coldplay's X&Y and listen to that for a little while. After all, I'm stuck in square one. The strange thing is all this subsided once Exeter had returned back to the top of the Conference, and after a suprisingly engaging England friendly. Seems that temporary fixes can account for nothing against a general feeling of confusion and being a little bit lost.

DWM reports (proudly for some reason) that the Best of Billie has gone Gold already. There's a reason for this dear reader: its been on sale in HMV for a fiver, and I bet somewhere people are buying it for Who fans nationwide as a 'joke' Christmas present, much in the way you always get a pair of Darth Vader socks or the equivalent. Ah, consumerism: "I am defined by the media I consume, and consumed by the media of which I am defined."

You can quote me on that one if you like.

The End of One Quest, the Start of Another...

Someone of great historical importance once remarked that it's a strange world out there; on recent evidence I'd agree with that. Today, I sat for an hour in a lecture that had absolutely no relevance to me whatsoever, but it did inspire me to thinking about the kind of film I would make if I had to make a film for my dissertation. More on that later. After a brief, and pleasent, conversation with a Lady with Immensley Cool Shoes, I proceeded to sit in the library and stare out the window for two hours and think. To make matters worse, I spent the whole two hours humming Owen Paul's 80s classic My Favourite Waste of Time. Eventually, said track mixed with Mylo's Drop the Pressure, to cause some strange 80s dance hybrid, and that was it! Absolutely nothing to do with the future of public service broadcasting, but a new dance song, and some musings concerning The Failures of Man.

Another strange occurance I've noticed recently: I have four versions of R.E.M's Pretty Persuasion on my computer. I'm not complaining, as personally I love the track. It's a great example of one of Michael's offbeat lyrical melody with some classic Buck guitar jangling in the background. I just would've thought that I'd have noticed by the fourth time...

So I finally tracked down some Idlewild bootlegs, and whilst they haven't appeared in the post yet, I'm anticipating their arrival. The next quest, well that may be a bit more difficult. I may actually discuss The Failures of Man with some filmy people to see what they think. Basically speaking, the piece is three short stories about the failures of men who are white, middle-class, rubbish and over-eager to impress in one way or another, which eventually leads to them becoming parodies of actual humans. One is about status anxiety. One is about loneliness. One is about being into 'extreme sports'. The first ends up living in the canteen. The second gets wallpapered to the office walls. The third with some strange, and embarrasing, bodily functions.

Just realised the time. I'm going to get Lost, and then maybe get found, or maybe, just maybe swallowed in the sea...

In the Words of Andy Warhol

"In the future, everyone will be famous for five minutes"

OK, maybe I'm being a bit over-the-top about this, but its not very often I get a brush with celebrity, and when you yourself end up involved its doubly rewarding. 'What the hell am I going on about?', I hear you asking, dear reader! Well, on Saturday, I went to the book signing to meet Russell T Davies, and it was absolutely fantastic! He's a really great bloke, and comes across just the way he does in Doctor Who Confidential or in interviews, really approachable and easy to talk to. I had a bit of a chat with him, asking for some tips surrounding my own writing and complementing him both on the success at the NTAs and for the fantastic scene at the end of Bad Wolf. Also met a couple of other fans, friends of a Man Much Greater Than I, who were really sound and took a lot of photos of what was going on. The wierdest thing though is that the South Wales Echo were doing interviews with fans outside of Waterstones, and ended up running with my interview! Subsequently, yesterday there was a big photo of me in my Tom Baker hat, holding the book, in the newspaper. Plus they didn't make me sound like an idiot, which is always a good thing. As a result, I kind of feel like the local celebrity fan! It'll pass. No one has asked for my autograph, nor hurled abuse at me in the street, so I'm not quite at the level of Charlotte Church yet.

In all honesty, I think the only people who read the Echo are either in their eighties, or not the type of people into Doctor Who, but its cool to be mentioned in the same piece as RTD though! I gotta say, I loved how Waterstones put a Dalek in amongst all of the books in the shop, as I thought it looked really good. Got me thinking about how you could turn that in to a story: perhaps you could have a library somewhere being run by the Daleks, or maybe you could just have a Dalek patrolling the dark corridors of a library, exterminating anyone who got near to some secret store of knowledge that was threatening to their race. Something like that anyways.

Away from the world of Who, there's not really that much going on. I've got an essay to write, and I decided not write it about Who. I thought I'd start on the right foot as I'm gonna write two others about it at present. Had to take a seminar yesterday, which was pretty cool if you discount the fact that only about two people spoke in my group. Nevermind, it was a good experience nonetheless.

Did you know there are two pieces of academic writing based around Phil Collins?

CyberControl's Five from the Past:

Super Furry Animals - Hometown Unicorn
Gene - Where Are They Now?
Genesis - Turn It On Again
Placebo - Scared of Girls
Blameless - Signs...

A Bit of BBC, If You Please

Right, I think it's time we called for a bit of standards on the comments page attatched to here. After all how old are we all? Surely far to old to be descending in to silly comments of 'And your mum' when we can't think of anything clever to say. So from now on, we'll have less of that. It's juvenile and silly. Although having said that, I can't help but recall a trip to Tesco with an old housemate's mum. Oh, that was funny! The people involved know who they are...

Anyways, in mentions of all things BBC, I'm going to meet Russell T Davies at a book signing tomorrow. I'm quite nervous about it, but quite excited at the same time. I bet I say something stupid to him; I'm currently replaying the whole of Robot in my head for some reason, and the words 'Think Tank' keep appearing in my subconscious. Don't worry though, it's nothing to do with a Blur album. Have decided I'm gonna wear my Tom Baker hat though. Oh, and whilst we're on the subject of our good Time Lord, can I just mention the three National Television Awards picked up mid-week. Well deserved by all the recipients and to claim them in ITV's backyard as well? Stunning.

Am I Pretentious?

God, its been an age since I last posted anything here. Fear not though dear reader, we haven't all jumped ship; think of it more as a fallow period due to adjusting to a new routine of life. I've now started my Masters and things are going alright. At least I think so, I feel as though I'm gradually going through the gears work-wise, and it'll still be a couple of weeks until I get back up to full speed. Anyways, the course is about what I was expecting, which is a good thing, and the travelling is pretty good as well. That may all change when essays and deadlines start to appear, but until then, we're fine. My tutor seems really cool as well, which is always pretty handy, although I think I ask him too many (probably obvious) questions. Will still though have to try and remember not to make everything I write about be based around either Who, Battlestar Galactica or something similar. After all, I am studying television and not just sci-fi television.

However, over the last couple of days its come to my attention that both of my housemates think I'm pretentious. Quite frankly, I'm astounded! The grounds for these accusations are as follows: I use big words and make overtly long sentences, I eat posh food and I make them feel inferior some times. There were other reasons, but for the moment they elude me. Anyways, for now I want to tackle these issues individually:

1) On using big words and long sentences: I just feel that if you've got a certain amount of substance to your brain, why not use it? I think this taps in to my deep-rooted hate of being viewed as stupid, something that I was made to feel for the majority of last year with my (terrible) job, and subsequently I may have reacted against that. Additionally, I spent most of the time I was in Sixth Form having to play dumb to a few people, and so didn't want to do that anymore. If that offends, then I'm sorry, but I just happen to like big words.

2) On liking decent food: what the hell is wrong with that? I mean, you hear so many stories about the rubish that's in the food you buy that I feel that in buying decent food I'm not eating as much regurgitated chicken head as other people. Granted, all I'm probably doing is eating the same amount of regurgitated chicken head as anyone else, just in better packaging. However, in my head it counts for something. Anyways, I still buy a lot of Value produce, I just happen to like fresh bread! As for ready meals, I still eat them. However, when you spent three years living with someone that constantly told you that you could make the same yourself for cheaper, and it'd taste nicer, it kind of took hold. Subsequently, I now agree with that sentiment. Moreover, what's wrong with reading the Observer Food Monthly?

3) On making people feel inferior: err, I don't know what to say to that, suffice to say that I wasn't aware I did, and if I do I'm sorry. I never mean to make people feel that way. Granted, I don't suffer fools easily, and I do tend to put up a lot of barriers before I let people in, but that's just due to past experiences. If you're too open you just get taken for a ride, and so the second (or should that be fifth?) time around, you're a bit more cautious. I don't think that's grounds for being pretentious!

Cyber Control's (pretentious) Top 5:
Maximo Park - Apply Some Pressure
The Cooper Temple Clause - The Same Mistakes
The Rakes - 22 Grand Job
Headswim - Better Made
Elbow - Snowball

A Minor Issue

I keep getting this knawing, sick feeling in my stomach at the moment, and I don't know why it is. It feels like your gut aches, and then the damn thing keeps making embarassing noises. I wouldn't mind if I knew it was alcohol related, but I know that it isn't. If any reading has any idea basic medical reasoning as to why this is, I'd be most grateful.

The Edge of Forever

I'm gonna be straight with you because, whilst I always believe in being honest with people, this is really scary. Tomorrow I start my Masters, and whilst I'm anxious in relation to a few factors (communting, time (then again I always seem to have anxieties in relation to time which I accredit to being lost within the Who universe)) I feel as though in no context can I f**k this up, whether that be socially or professionally. Obviously, I'd rather mess things up sociallly than professionally, as that's just me, but either way would be a major discrepency. After all, in relation to the social side of things, it was only after three years of being anxious within Undergraduate studies that I actually got to talk to most of the people that made me nervous, and they all turned out to be fantastic. I can't let that happen again. Anyways, It seems much more about Networking within the Academic world; making sure you know people going in to different institutions, and hoping they won't slag off your work. Granted someone's gonna play John Snow, but hopefully not someone you know...

OK, so this is all middle-class angst, and not as relevant as the needs of the working-class etc. Yes, I know and realise this but it, still affects me. There are still people I wish to see, and miss, from the Old Days, whether they be old housemates or friends long departed. Eitherways, when you're looking back, as well as forward, as well as presentley, it leaves you in a mess in relation to time. For whilst forever is open, the present is there to manipulate, and the past lays paths to the discourses that made you what you are.

Oh, on an indie note, Maximo Park's new release Apply Some Pressure, is well worth a listen, if only for the last four lyrical lines.

On Being in a Seinfeld Mood

And so the debate rages on as to whether City of Death should be the Christmas DVD release, with the masses still demanding Genesis. Just one glance at the BBC website pays testament to this. I did fancy publishing a post pleading for Timelash, but even I cannot stoop so low as to try and wind up my beloved Who brethren. In all seriousness though, please can we have Greatest Show in the Galaxy next year? Please, BBC. Err, I'll be your best friend (?!?) Wait, this is all getting rather childish, I'll stop. I'm simply conforming to stereotypes if I continue that train of thought. Personally though, I welcome CoD to DVD, it'll definately be on my Christmas list. After all, being an analyst, and that being a televisual text, our two lines of work do dovetail very nicely!

Hmmm, so how is life? Life is good, thanks! A lot better than this time last week, I'll put it that way. I've done muchos readingos for the commencement of my course next week, and even potentially come up with an idea for my dissertation: it involves tackling the problems of making television drama for a global audience, by analysing the 1996 Who Tv Movie within the generic contexts of American and British television drama and drawing reference to such expectations related to elements such as the single play, the TV Movie and, naturally science-fiction, whilst paying attention to how these are played out within the text and the way they set up expectations for audiences within different cultures. In short, I seek to prove that even in today's globalised television society, it's impossible to make drama to satisfy a global audience. May even be able to work in some discussion and/or analysis of the new series as well! This all came to me on Monday night, after successfully completing my first sudoku, after six months of trying. Its times like that when I truly do kick ass.

Oh yeah, and a quick note to anyone who fancies kidnapping me: I found out in Devon that I can easily fit in the boot of a Peugeot 106, with the parcel shelf in and the door shut, and breathe perfectly well. Thus, if anyone does fancy abducting me, you won't need a fancy car.

Ultimate Chat Up Line for Goths:
"I like the way your organs are decaying."

CyberControl's Favourite Tunes:

22 Grand Job by The Rakes
Going Missing by Maximo Park
Sit Down, Stand Up by Radiohead
Swallowed in the Sea by Coldplay
All These Things That I've Done by The Killers

Hope

"You want to trust the Doctors, their procedure is the best
But the last try was a failure and the intern was a mess
And they did the same to Matthew, and he bled 'til Sunday night
They're saying 'Don't be frightened', but you're weakened by the sight of it"

It's funny. That track has never really meant anything to me. It's always just been 'The One with the Simple Synth Part', positioned between two great songs on one of my favourtie records. That's not to say I never liked the track, it just didn't get under my skin in the way, say, Falls to Climb has. However, the above lyrics pretty much sum up the events of the last week or so. In short, I've been presented with situations to which there are no real solutions. There's no chance of either reconciliation, or the current situation getting any better. Why should I be so arrogant as to assume I could make any form of difference, I hear you ask dear reader? Well, in my family I've always been the go-between, the mediator if you like, who listens to all of the different arguments and then helps people decide what the most amicable solution is for all involved. I suppose it's no wonder as to why I did a journalism degree; I was simply playing to my strengths.

Yet, when you're faced with problems concerning mental illness there is no solution, no matter how great you're hope in medical science is. You're simply presented with a situation where the person involved is just going to get worse, and gradually they'll fade in to their own world until they finally sleep. What makes it a lot worse, and adds to the feeling of helplessness, is seeing the person involved as a shadow their former self. In this instance, it refers to my grandfather: a veteran of the Second World War, a man who stood up and fought for what was right, and a proud man who wouldn't suffer fools. Just don't let him watch any repeats of old Python shows, that's all. What was moving about visiting him though was the way in which my Gran held herself around him. It was wrenching to watch her as, whilst she knew that he wouldn't be getting any better, she still treated him as though everything was OK, and still offered him the same affection she always has. It was a display of dignity that really got to me.

This is especially the case when you view it in the context of my sister, who has just walked out of her (very new) marriage after thirteen months for someone else. I'm not sure whether she got bored, but when asked why she simply spouted some sub-Cosmopolitan, sub-feminist nonsense that involved the phrase 'skin crawl' and that, it seems, is that. Endgame. Another government statistic in the making. However, as with most things with my sister, it's only when you scratch the surface that you get a more rounded sense of what's going on, and that's a whole different can of worms.

So as a result, hope is short in relation to my family, and that's a shame as it's a concept I value greatly. Just one look at some of my favourite media reflects this: from the lyrics disclosed above, to the attention-grabbing title of iDLEWiLD's debut record (Hope is Important), to the title of one of my favourite bands (Hope of the States), it's always there. Hell, look at the end of Shawshank! The reason the conclusion is so euphoric, and moving, is due to the hope it offers. Now by hope, I don't mean the futile, religous-based definition of the word (i.e. I hope that God exists),. Instead I am referring to the kind of hope that is devoid of notions of 'belief': hope that things will get better, hope for a brighter tomorrow, and that good things happen to good people. The only problem is that when faced with the knowledge that things have to get worse before they can get better, its not always easy to keep that hope.

The above lyrics come from a track called Hope on R.E.M.'s sublime record, Up. If you ever get the opportunity, it's well worth a listen.

Terminus

So that was it. Terminus. However, there were no revelations that we onboard the leper ship, nor that everyone was going to die (for one reason or another), nor was there any mention of Lazar's Disease. Instead, there was a strangely moving, almost sombre, atmosphere to my departure in to the world of unemployment, and then, soon, in to the saving arms of academia. A few manly handshakes, a card with pleasent words dispersed inside, and some strong, inspiring words from my superiors, all made for an unexpected end to my days with directory enquiries. Whoever thought this retiring, nervy sf fan, with a habit of making stupid observations (often involving badgers) when in team meetings, could elicit such a response from people? In short, I never realised I meant that much to my peers. I always thought I was just a bit of wallpaper: turned up, fitted in, didn't draw attention to itself and was easily replacable. However, over the last few months I have come to feel as though some people in that place have helped awaken a certain part of me I never knew existed. A part of me that is confident in my own abilities, that recognises I'm not the tragic waste of space I always proclaim I am, and that I'm someone with the passion and motivation to go and do whatever I want. Yes, I'm still very much aware that, at the most basic level, I'm a pile of rotting organs; matter that was decaying from the moment it was awoken, doing so at a rate slower than that of animals but quicker than that of the universe. However, when we come to time, everything is relative. Anyways, for that I'm truly grateful, and there's always the leaving celebrations, even if they are two weeks away.

So where from here? Immidiatley, I'm needed elsewhere. What with the hurricane currently blowing through my family, I feel it's my duty to go home and try and steady the ship to the best of my abilities. I think that's a direct consequence of being a Whovian: the show gives you a great feeling of responsibility and morailty, of standing up, and trying to do the 'right thing', if such a thing can ever truly exist. For my parents, I think they could do with some irreverance to take their mind off things, and I know I'm the person for that, whilst with regards to my sister, I've gone from feeling that she's back to the person she used to be, to a feeling of just not knowing her at all, in the space of aproximately three weeks. Who knows, I may even once more encounter the Portreath of the Borough of Newton Abbot whilst I'm back! In all honesty, I never knew the place had a Portreath, nor that Newton Abbot was a Borough, but we all live to learn and strive towards enlightenment. Moreover, its all very Castrovalva. Yet, although I may be going back, in the words of the Bluetones, it's just for a short while. Moreover, whilst I am going back, I've lots of work to do. Subsequently, that can only mean one thing: they better have plenty of tea in.

"Up until this moment, I'd only ever wanted to see one thing: you naked. Well, that and Arc of Infinity, but at this precise point in time, Omega can wait."

Too Long Awake

Its been a long week, and as I sit here on a Saturday night enjoying a glass of red wine and listening to B*Witched's C'est La Vie (we all suffer our vices), reflecting on how this track always seems to appear at strange points in my life (usually when drunk), I can honestly admit I'll be glad to see this week's demise. Its been both physically and emotionally draining: for some reason family and friends have a nasty habit of falling apart at the same time, and whilst I don't at all mind being the person people fall on, it'd be nice if it didn't all happen at once. However, if that's the state of play at the minute, so be it. As the current Coldplay track observes, "I'll try to fix you", the only problem is that I subsequently feel as though I've been too long awake. I'm not gonna go into all the details, mainly because I don't believe in disclosing everything all of time, but I just wanted to get a few observations I've come to this week out in the open. Some of them are blindingly obvious, but I wanted to make them explicit because I feel they should be said. Some are a bit more cryptic but hopefully the person(s) they're directed to will be able to decode. Here goes:

1. Contemporary Man is not supposed to work 50 hours a week, especially when this only invloves one trip to the pub.

2. It is unwise to drink four pints of Hoegaarden in one sitting, even if this is over a considerable period of time.

3. The Kinder Egg is not a suitable implement with which to impersonate Steve Harmison, nor any other members of the England Cricket team's bowling attack.
3a. Similarly, the packagaing of the Kinder Egg often lies to you. Not offering you a free SpongeBob, nor Patrick Starfish, nor any of the other characters, but instead granting you a small imp and a euphonium.

4. My housemates are f***ing great.

5. I feel closer to my parents when I'm further away from them.

6. No matter how sure you are about things they will always strive to prove you wrong, and often succeed in doing so.

7. Bad news always announces itself when you're in the company of people who were either involved, or around, the last time it said 'Hi'.

8. Saying 'Hello' to people you've come to long for usually results in rewarding, if brief, social interactions.

9. I will soon be on to my third pair of headphones this year. Is this my fault, or are they just badly made?

10. Despite making both iconic (Daydreamer) and impressive (Being Brave) contributions to the Britpop era, Menswear couldn't do vocal harmonies for toffee, and had trouble holding notes in the right keys at times.

11. The track Gay Bar by Electric Six is still very funny, even two years down the line.

12. Isn't it great when you misinterpret song lyrics. Only today I thought I heard a girl on the radio singing about fish eyes.

13. I'm a walking embodiment of the values of Public Service Broadcasting, as forwarded by the BBC especially.

14. Susanna Hoffs was, and still is, really hot.

15. Nobody has better sex than the people in your head do.

16. Anything involving the words 'everlasting', or 'magic', or a combination of the two, are falsifications. There are no such things in the world.