Okay, I'll be honest that this post was supposed to be put up last Thursday but due to social encounters its been pushed back. I've now however found myself with lots to say and probably three posts in a day so I feel some, if not all, might not get read at all. I'll just have to hope that sanyone reading is dedicated enough.
I was catching the bus to work early this (Thursday) morning and a strange thought occured to me: why do so many kids and adults dress and act the same way? This thought came from the amount of (annoying) kids there were on the bus today who, obviously, had a non-uniform day at their respective schools. They were all dressed like something out of either a very cliched hip-hop video, or someone they'd seen on the pages of Heat magazine, and they were about twelve! It just got me thinking about what people must aspire to today. Is there nobody left these days that wants to better the cards theyve been dealt by life? I mean, granted, we're all born with certain circumstances that we can't deny, but that doesn't mean that we're stuck with that role forever? Doesn't anyone want to make their mark? Doesn't anyone want to change the world, and, more importantly is it wrong to want to?
I would certainly like to think that I had the potential to do something worthwhile in my life, so that in some shape or form my name would linger a little after it amounts to nothing more than an engraving on a stone monument somewhere. I'd also like to think that that is actually starting to happen. After all, I've now had my first mention in an academic text book! Granted, it's only a mention on the acknowledgments page of the new book by A Man Much Greater than I, but its a start! However, as you'll come to realise dear reader, I like to think a number of things.
And there is my inherent problem: my disgusting lack of self-confidence in myself and my abilities. I'm becoming aware that I can probably make a difference, or a mark nonetheless, to this world in some shape or form but my problem is I need some people or somebody to help me. I can't do this by myself. As Shed Seven rightly observed all those years ago "I've got high hopes, all I need is your hand to steady my feet". That's exactly the situation I feel I'm in. I'd like to think I've got a couple of people there but, as with anything in life, you can never really be sure. On that note though I'd like to thank my first reader of this page for their thoughts. It's always nice to know that you're gaining an audience.
However, this thought led me to thinking about why, and in what form exactly, I want to leave a mark on the world, and I managed to boil this motivation to one of three things: power, money or respect. For me, its not power thats driving me. I don't want control of anyone, or anything, in particular. Power breeds corruption and egos; people who think they're more than a decaying pool of matter want power because they feel inadequate about themselves in some form. Anyways, in the words of Hope of the States, "Don't make me a leader, I'll lead you all wrong". Neither do I want money in excessive amounts either. I grew up in a household where, whilst money wasn't a problem, I was often lead to believe that it was and so have seen the problems that it breeds. In fact, if I start earning more than I actually need I'd like to do something with it that is worthwhile. I'm quite happy with a decent house somewhere and a small car that won't harm the environment too much. No, what's motivating me is respect. Definately. I want people to turn around and respect me and my views; to view me as someone who stood for what he believed in and had something decent and interesting to say on things. Its something I stand by throughout life: if people respect me, I'll do the same to them. I think it's the single most important thing in the world and, unfortunately, we don't seem to live in a society where there is much of it. Too many people are willing to judge others due to something that they don't understand, whether it be something big like religion or race, or something small like a hobby or interest. I think we could all do with a little more tolerance, dear reader. Don't you?