Thursday, July 20, 2006

The Shape of Things to Come


The above is an artist's impression of what can broadly be called 'the shape of things to come'. Admittedly, the artist who drew it is not up to much. You wouldn't really employ them as a Court Illustrator on this evidence, would you? Nonetheless, the above illustration is a vision of the future as its supposed to represent me, in my trademark Tom Baker-esque hat, with a couple of glow sticks, in the Dance Tent at the V Festival. Now you may rightly ask why I'm going to partake in such an experience but I just feel as though it's something that needs to be done. At the same time, one of the fellow festivalgoers is a dance music fan (he was once known to occupy a 'Sphere of Dance', whatever that might look like) and I feel it's only right to endulge in such pleasures. As a result, I hope to be able to bring you the actual version of the above sketch at a later date but for now this will have to surfice. By the way, did you know it's impossible to actually buy just one glow stick? Instead you have to buy a box of 1,000! I mean, who in their right mind actually needs 1,000 glow sticks?

Aside from that it's been another funny week, where I seem to get the feeling that I'm going around in circles and getting nowhere with my Dissertation. It's almost as though I've hit a brick wall and completely lost the plot of what it is I'm wanting to talk about which is worrying. I'm sure it'll come together again soon but for now it all seems a little pointless. I just seem to spend the days idling the time away watching videos and DVDs, and at the end of them I feel as though I'm still unsure of what it is I actually want to say about them, or that some smart person will along and completely dismiss what I'm trying to say. Hmm, sorry if this sounds like a little bit of a whinge, it's not supposed to. It's just that I can't really talk about it to anyone, and my housemates are (rightly) unsympathetic to someone who just watches TV for long periods of the day.

I've been looking at my music collection recently as it needed a bit of a tidy-up and have had the pleasure of revisiting either some songs I've completely forgotten about, or albums that I didn't 'get' when I first acquired them. The best example of this would have to be Do The Collapse by Guided By Voices. I bought this record mainly because I heard the track 'Hold on Hope' on Mark and Lard's show years ago (it's got a great chorus hook of Everybody's got a hold on hope/ It's the last thing that's holding me), and then got a recommendation of them when I bought a couple of old R.E.M. records online. This was years ago, and my first impression of the record was that it was really underwritten and a bit pointless (there are seventeen songs and the album lasts about 45 mins). However, since I've become more knowledgable about the whole American College Rock scene, I've decided it's a great, quirky little album concerning obscure aspects of American culture. I think. Anyways, the guitar parts are quite innovative, varied and inspiring so that always helps.

CyberControl's Top 5 Songs of the Moment:

Shed Seven - Cry for Help
Longpigs - She Said
Keane - We Might As Well Be Strangers
Guided By Voices - Mushroom Art
Spiritualized - Won't Get to Heaven (The State I'm In)

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Viking Renaissance

This, Dear Readers, is a call to arms. It is a call to reclaim a forgotten group of historical figures and propel them back in to the cultural zeitgeist in a (possibly ironic) way similar to the recent reclaimation of other historical tribes such as the Romans and Pirates. Yes, Dear Readers I am proclaiming a return to the popular imagination of those bearded Norsemen who wore silly hats that looked like a coconut with two demon horns sticking out of each side, rode in longboats, and enjoyed a bit of rape and pilage: the Vikings. For too long now other, predominantely evil sea-faring groups have enjoyed the limelight by themselves. Subsequently, I proclaim a campaign to place the Viking back in his rightful place. It may not be easy, but I call for your support.

The plan is thus: firstly, we need to get the image of the Viking back into the public memory. For this I think the best thing that can happen is this. Firstly, like the Pirate, the Viking needs to be reclaimed on the Interweb, so there have to be such things as Viking Podcasts, ironic 'Ask a Viking' films on YouTube and so on. The web is always looking for its next big gimmick and I see no reason why the Viking cannot surfice. Secondly, use it for your themed nights out drinking. All it takes is a few groups here and there to go out dressed as Vikings, proclaiming certain Viking things such as long boats and wielding plastic axes, and the image will soon be copied by the masses. From here, we can build a solid base to work from. Possibly we need some Vikings included in a band-of-the-moment's music video, similar to the way Gwen Stefani reclaimed the Pirate a little while ago. Moreover, I would call for a Hollywood movie that celebrates and ironises the Viking in a similar vein to Pirates of the Caribbean. Who knows, maybe we could get Bill Murray to take the lead in Vikings of the Norse or something similar? Perhaps we could even get ZZ Top involved to provide a tie-in song for the soundtrack? And perhaps we could even launch it under the tag-line of "Go Norse. It is Hairy there"? OK, maybe the last idea needs some work but you get the idea.

So join me Dear Readers, lend your support to the Viking Renaissance, and together we can propel them back into the public conscience.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Strange Days

What a strange few days it's been, characterised by a building sense of melancholy and loss. What's even stranger is that you don't really realise it's happening until it passes. It started on Friday with the anniversary of the bombings of London. Now, it might appear a bit strange to think that, living in Cardiff, something like that could affect you. However, due to working for Directory Enquiries I unfortunately managed to experience most of it first-hand and it was less than pleasent. I remember people phoning up for the numbers of hospitals and places of work where their loved ones were supposed to be, unsure of whether they were even alive or where they were supposed to be and so on. That sense of uncertainty and panic was mixed with the sudden realisation that the people I knew in London might have been involved, so it was a pretty horrible feeling even though I wasn't there personally. Moreover, seeing the reports of people one year on and the memorials got under my skin for some undefined reason.

That sense of melancholy had a touch of disappointment added to it, due to the failure to find a new place to live. I suppose in all honesty I was quite looking forward to moving somewhere new but it now appears we're staying put. However, I can't believe the state of some of the places that are available for rent here. By far the worst was a place where the whole wall of one room was visibly damp, and just left there for everyone to see. Then there was a place with an elevator in it! I mean, who really thought that was a good idea (well, wheelchair access, naturally, but...)? Did manage to spark a memory of that movie Three Men and a Baby momentarily as I'm sure there was a lift in that. Did it have a rather elaborate painting outside of it? Come to think of it, how did the men come into possesion of the baby? And why? Sorry, I'm digressing. The point remains though that you would think that landlords would actually take a bit of pride in the presentation of their places to prospective tennants.

So couple this with the end of Who, and traces of academic cabin fever (i.e. sitting in your room thinking a lot, which eventually makes you go out of your tree as you get caught up in theory), and I was left possesing a feeling that's been more than a little strange. However, glad to report that normal service has now been resumed. Unsure where it went but, hopefully, it won't return. Perhaps I put it in the wardrobe with the Wardrobe Monsters, I'm sure they'll find a use for it.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Speed of Light

Hello, Dear Readers. What a strange time this currently seems to be, when there are so many things going on that at the moment that you feel as though you've not really got the time to dedicate yourself to anything other than that which is really important to you. So there'll just be a brief mention of England's less-than-glorious exit from the World Cup. At the time, I wasn't surprised as I'd been saying for a while that the first decent team they had to play would see the end of them. However, Portugal proved to be less than decent, and that didn't stop my final reaction to England's exit being a mixture of anger and disappointment at the fact that, when it mattererd, the team didn't perform for one reason or another. All that's left now is to hope that Italy win the tournament as they're playing good football. However, as the law of averages always proves, the best team never wins. If the team that played the best football won the amount of games they deserved, Exeter City would at least be in the Championship. Or is that just my own, completely unbiased opinion coming through?

I'm writing here from a position of safety it has to be said. I'm afraid, Dear Readers, that I have recently ventured in to the world of 'MySpace' despite being warned that it was full of fifteen year-old Emo kids with Fall Out Boy hoodies and ringtones. However, having toyed with MySpace, I have to admit it's not all it's cracked up to be. There was no chance to download the free music I was expecting, and instead all I'm faced with is mad Dashboard Confessional fans and obscure Cardiff-based metal bands wanting to add me to their mailing list. I got as far as trying to add Idlewild to my contatcts and then found the idea that Idlewild could suddenly become my 'Friend' both immensly cool and terrifying at the same time.

What also of the series finale of Who? How amazingly brilliant is it going to be? What is the Black Dalek? What is the Genesis Ark? How great was Army of Ghosts? How greatly did it restore your faith in both the scope and scale of the series, and RTD's writing? I can't wait for the final episode it's fair to say. Plus we have a new companion already recruited, although she won't be in the Christmas Special. As well, we have rumours abound about returning villains for next season: The Ice Warriors. I'm a bit ambiguous about that news to be honest. Whilst their name as 'Ice Warriors' was suited for their first story (they were in the Antarctic after all), the stories featuring them after that one made no reference to their 'icy' status. In short, I'm not sure what they'll do with them, and think either The Sontarons, The Sea Devils, The Silurians or maybe even The Borad (?!?) would be better for a return.

Just a quick note to say that things may go a little quiet around here in the next few weeks due to the fact that I'll be moving house soon. Unfortunately the time has come to depart this grand, open, if damp-ridden and cold-in-winter, palace. It won't be a sad departure as hopefully we'll be living somewhere even better, where I'll have a less gackily-shaped room that doesn't involve walking around crouched over in places. Oh, and somewhere where I can attatch a few posters on the wall would be nice.

Finally, I've started playing the guitar and writing once more! Hurrah! Well, whilst this may not be of any significance to you Dear Reader, it's something I've been meaning to do for ages. Since my old band broke up I really seem to have lost my way with music. However, I've decided to start writing songs again and try hard not to hit what I call 'The OK Computer Wall'. Basically, that train of thought works by listening to something really groundbreaking and then thinking, 'There's no way I could write anything like that, and if you can't better what's the point?'. A rather defeatest viewpoint I think you'll agree. Thus, the influences and frames of reference are staying firmly it what I know I can do well: R.E.M., Idlewild, and The Bluetones for now. Watch this space...