Downside on the Up

I feel slightly apprehensive in writing this post, especially in light of the previous one, as it's necessary to gauge the right tone. After the downward focus of my previous musings, it would be wrong for me to turn around and pretend that that was just a blip: me having a bit of a 'bad day' if you will. The truth is I'm probably not OK, not feeling all that together, but that certainly doesn't mean I'll be doing anything stupid. I apologise if I gave that impression. So whilst I currently find myself in a dark place, it's worth noting that there is always light in dark places, even if it's the mearest flicker. Thus, without getting all Bono/Amnesty International, it's always necessary to keep a sense of hope. The only problem I have is that whilst I have hope, it's usually outweighed by pessimism on a ratio of about 1:3 against.

What do I accredit this to? Well, I can't help but thinking that part of it comes from the music I listen to, and the outlook I've developed from that since a young age. You see, I've always been a follower of the indie/ rock scene, and always especially been a fan of the epic, string-drencehed, mournful ballad of which The Verve used to be such fine purveyours. Furthermore though, I've always truly valued songs, and artists, that are genuine, or honest if you like. One of the reasons I hold R.E.M. in such high esteem is you can always tell the genuine emotion behind both Michael's lyrics and delivery, and the fact that the music adds to the sense of melancholy inherent in them. It's the same with the music of Neil Finn and Crowded House, you can tell the honesty of the emotion in the songs being played. However, the main problem I've always had with the music scene I so adore is the drunken, sing-along crowd who, in my (perhaps rather shallow?) opinion, appear to have little connection to the sentiments being portrayed. I mean come on! How can a townie possibly relate to something like Losing my Religion, Falls to Climb or Snow Patrol's Run? As a result, I always try to understand where these songs 'come' from, and attempt to relate to that either via hyperthetical situations or real-life experiences. I suppose at the end of the day, I truly value honesty, and things that are genuine, and so want myself to be reflected in the music, and art, I consume. Perhaps this is the part of me that needs to regenrate? But in doing so, how can I possibly keep a hold of the things that I so value? Or perhaps I just need to stop wearing 'being a fan' on my sleeve so much?

Sorry, this has gone all 'Me Me Me' again, hasn't it? I do apologise, dear reader. Thank you for returning to this humble page and sticking with it. I also apolgise that the updates haven't been that often recently. The truth is I've been downsizing: moving out of Cyber Control to the smaller, yet more portable, Cyber Tombs of Telos. In short, I've bought a laptop and am in the process of transferring files across. This then explains why the Brighton photos are yet to be uploaded; the necessary programme is still on the old computer, you see! Fear not though, once things have fully changed over, I'll be sexing this place up better than a US Presidential Intellegence document. You see, it's not acid, it's a wicked sense of humour!

I watched a terrible film at the weekend: Van Wilder. I don't know why I watched it, I think it was the only thing on television at the time, and the lure of Tara Reid was also helpful. I think she's something of a modern day Jenny Agutter: a guarantee of an opportunity for a male to admire the female form, therefore momentarily filling the holes in his own life. Anyways, the film was crap. Sure, they made Ms. Reid's 'boyfriend' utterly dispicable, but the other guy was just as bigger loser as well! He was your typical 'Hey, I'm an easy going, slacker-type who just gets drunk and makes silly quips all the time' character. I mean, come on! What's wrong with a bit of depth to these characters? Rather than the usual 'Boy meets Girl' scenario, why not add in a few emotional scars to pick at? Or maybe some death? Or maybe something off-the-wall, such as the occult, ghosts or doppelgangers? You see, that's what makes Donnie Darko.

Finally, there's much in the world of Who that needs addressing at present but, unfortunately, now is not the time. What with new episode titles announced, new cast members and, most importantly, new press photos showing David Tennant wearng what appears to be one of my suit jackets! However, this week could be rather hectic, what with work and social engagements over the weekend, so these will have to wait a little. In the words of a sadly-forgotten classic from the Britpop era, this weekend "we'll go out tonight and breathe, a little deeper", and in such instances there's always hope; hope for the opportunity to laugh, to forget, and maybe to meet someone special. However, there's still always the doubt that comes with this, and you know how big that can be.